Wednesday, December 09, 2009
5:33 AM
so, i was just sitting down having a drink at BUGIS macdonalds when i saw a terrible sight:
she apparently got dumped by her boyfriend, and her ( really useless ) friend was trying to comfort her. So as i watch the interesting sight i gathered a few points:
1) the friend is more conscious about the number of eyeballs watching them than her sobbing friend.
2) the crying girl looks like a total wreck.
3) from the phone conversation, the boyfriend sounds like he cheated on her then decided the affair was a nicer partner to be with.
4) the crying girl is stupid.
that makes me think of something, somewhat related.
Heads up butts stick to your seats, ladies ( and jerks ) keep your eyes peeled.
AMBERLOGY lesson 43:
Every woman wants their man to take care of her every little need.
That's the sick truth which has been sitting around for as long as cockroaches were bigger than my head. You see, the thing is some local girls can't get it into their STUPID heads.
because that's what's hardwired into them, baby.
That's the reason why guys are attracted to voluptuous figures, plunging necklines and yes, big and beautiful breasts. It's a sign of fertility. As much as you don't recognize it- Although the society has evolved much, human nature somewhat remains untamed.
We need to reproduce. That's what's written on a chip and embedded in our brains.
Males are required to generate more copies of themselves and pass on their genes before they pass on.- literally. Females are, well, a medium for that to happen. SAD, but true.
TODAY'S LESSON, answers " WHY DON'T MEN CUDDLE AFTER SEX? "
it usually goes like this, in a nutshell:
we lie on bed.
he cuddle me.
then kiss me.
i feel him erecting.
we touch here touch there awhile.
he tries ( feebly ) to arouse me. ( just for the sake of doing so )
i give him a blowjob.
he come on top of me and go in and out
then %#^$@#%@ he came.
he puts on his underwear.
he says bb and goes to sleep.
i lie there like idiot.
all in 5 mins.
Scientifically :
Oxytocin, ( aka "Cuddle-hormone" ) is a hormone which is released into human bodies upon stimulation by passion. But you see, Oxytocin is present in a much larger quantity in females than male. AND,
The hormone dies in the male bloodstream the moment his dick gets done with whatever business it was doing, but still surging through the female's.
There you have it. The most basic and bastard truth behind every guy's ridiculously selfish act. He probably didn't mean it. He was just "letting nature take control of my body".
But of course some guys have mastered how to "pretend you have more oxytocin" and cuddle their lucky girlfriends to sleep. But not everyone is so lucky!
So feel better already!
And to the girl crying:
there are better fucks out there!
you know how to flirt, you know how to get a boyfriend. Now learn how to keep him.
There's only one way:
" Do it like a lady, but think it like a man "
I will post some normal PG post soon. its time to GET IT ON in dota now!
Every man, wants their woman to take care of his ONE little need.
That's the sick truth which has been sitting around for as long as cockroaches were bigger than my head. You see, the thing is some local girls can't get it into their STUPID heads.
because that's what's hardwired into them, baby.
That's the reason why guys are attracted to voluptuous figures, plunging necklines and yes, big and beautiful breasts. It's a sign of fertility. As much as you don't recognize it- Although the society has evolved much, human nature somewhat remains untamed.
We need to reproduce. That's what's written on a chip and embedded in our brains.
Males are required to generate more copies of themselves and pass on their genes before they pass on.- literally. Females are, well, a medium for that to happen. SAD, but true.
TODAY'S LESSON, answers " WHY DON'T MEN CUDDLE AFTER SEX? "
it usually goes like this, in a nutshell:
we lie on bed.
he cuddle me.
then kiss me.
i feel him erecting.
we touch here touch there awhile.
he tries ( feebly ) to arouse me. ( just for the sake of doing so )
i give him a blowjob.
he come on top of me and go in and out
then %#^$@#%@ he came.
he puts on his underwear.
he says bb and goes to sleep.
i lie there like idiot.
all in 5 mins.
Scientifically :
Oxytocin, ( aka "Cuddle-hormone" ) is a hormone which is released into human bodies upon stimulation by passion. But you see, Oxytocin is present in a much larger quantity in females than male. AND,
The hormone dies in the male bloodstream the moment his dick gets done with whatever business it was doing, but still surging through the female's.
There you have it. The most basic and bastard truth behind every guy's ridiculously selfish act. He probably didn't mean it. He was just "letting nature take control of my body".
But of course some guys have mastered how to "pretend you have more oxytocin" and cuddle their lucky girlfriends to sleep. But not everyone is so lucky!
So feel better already!
And to the girl crying:
there are better fucks out there!
you know how to flirt, you know how to get a boyfriend. Now learn how to keep him.
There's only one way:
" Do it like a lady, but think it like a man "
I will post some normal PG post soon. its time to GET IT ON in dota now!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
1:53 AM
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
( i know its not here yet lah think i can't count!?!? its a tradition in Singapore to do everything in advance but strangely I am not affected in the sense when im always late )
Ion orchard looks amazing! minus the disgusting crowd.Don't ask me why the photos look like shit. don't blame my camera! its Blogger which has implemented this silly system where we have a limited space for all our photos. SO, bo bian need to reduce and resize the quality till like SHIT. i can almost see the pixels from here. yucks
we all love : DIN TAI FENG!
TELL ME: why the toilets in ion orchard are:
1) bigger than my entire house
2) machiam take part in toilet compy
3) so exaggeratedly high tech?
( some poor ah ma didn't know where the hand dryer was hidden )
my toilet looks like shit compared to this.SPERM!
(tu) narcissm time at Takashimaya:
CARTIER, BABY.
more (tu) time at the bus stop.
THE GIRL BESIDE ME at the bus stop:
( you know how hard to take the photo anot? need skill ok! )
Hot tomato express @ plaza sing!
MORE (tu) for you!:
So i was flipping through a magazine and i got the shock of my life. I saw this mushroom head looking leprechaun thing with discolored eye make up and mis-matching clothes to pull off the extremely gross image. HOW CAN THIS BE ON THE MAGAZINE?
( no more boner material guys. this is the shizz )
Seems like people are bored of the usual christmas trees. they just HAD to be creative and..
put it upside down! WOOHOO!
Beef chilli cheese fries @ Carl's Jr! Pair it with their PORTOBELLO mushroom burger.
See? now you know why im so fat.
My fav: Soft shell crab hand roll!
The only reason for you to :
1) stay up late all night
2) wake up early in the morning
Big Breakfast at Mac. only $6++
( unless you are like Ky or Ash and add 294928592895 omelettes and sausages TILL THE COVER CANNOT CLOSE )Animal cruelty:
Ash: Eh my dog scared of umbrella.Amb: Really? Why?
Ash: HAHAHA. don't know really it scared. see
* takes umbrella and advances to dog
Dog: looks at ash with fearful eyes and cowers
Ash: HAHAHAHA see!!!
* Opens umbrella
Dog: Whines and hides in a corner
Amb: You damn mean leh wtf.
Ash: AHAHHAA SEE ITS SCARED HAHAHA
*puts opened umbrella at dog.
Dog: Shuts its eyes and prays that everything will be over soon
Why Singaporean guys so zilian? : ( *points at wenjie )
WHAT does a loving father do when the daughter was crying because her cafe world in Face book had a glitch?!
He cooks a nice warm bowl of curry noodles and adds her favorite seaweed chicken to it T.T
Note: It's not that i put too much make up and look too white. Is that he got sunburnt and look too dark ok!
COCKROACHES!!!!!
Watch Case 39 its awesome okay!
MOVIES YOU MUST WATCH OR DIE WITH REGRETS:
Case 39
Happy Flight
New Moon
2012
My girlfriend is an agent
Ninja Assassin
MOVIES YOU WATCH LE CONFIRM DIE WITH REGRETS:
A christmas carol
Fantastic Mr fox
The informant ( to wenjie it was pure torment )
I have stomach flu, what luck. Anyone wants to skip school? Come let me spread some germs to you. :D
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
5:20 PM
HI NOOBS.
( this post has alot of dota jargon. wait. oh all my posts have always been. )
I have ultimately been destroyed by double damage pa with quadruple DRS resulting in scarred exterior, loss of gold and a long respawn time. Meanwhile i shall be updating every day whilst i regenerate my HP. And as i am not pro like X1a0WuGu1, my fountain only regenerates o.1 Hp per hour so i will take longer before i can enter the battlefield again.
we are all in awe by the FAMOUS & PRO WCG PLAYER X1a0WuGu1 Aka TORTOISE so here's more photos of him. MY sister can't be more than honored to be sitting beside him much less than taking photos!
LOL i am so bo liao.
Family day at EAST COAST, WHERE MY SISTER RODE HER BICYCLE INTO A BUSH LOLOLOLOLOL. *looks at Eng hau
and then she picks up the bicycle.. AND RAMMED INTO THE FENCE.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOOLOOOOOL
cute hor:
One plate of duck rice 5 dollar so nice meh so many people queue. thought the rice is like food from heaven. WAN LAI SI ( but actually ) the ah peks purposely do so slow machiam medusa use ulti and slow them like that WTF x1000
disgusting cockle, ( just like my sister )
THAI BURGER FROM BOTAK JONES!
says ryan: this is not just DD! Its triple DD + DR,! Look at the carbo!!!!
Baked cheese potato.
Burger bun
FRIES
GG!
Sorry, on a random note i had to express that i like long stuffs and elephants..
*innocuous eyes
SENTOSA COVE, WHERE ARE YOU?
Lesson learnt from monopoly-rubbish-game-from-macdonalds:
1) Its a faux
2) Spamming mcspicy is the most favorite bad thing to do
3) Sentosa cove can only be gotten in your dreams
4) Geylang had spelling error. Apparently the printer was gay. The paper wrote GEYLAND
5) The small fries + nuggets + free food that you get only makes you fat. nothing to be happy about.
NANA TIME: ( ADOPTION NOTICE, "adorable" little tortoise )
Name: Tan Nan DaNicknames: XWG, PRO, WCGPRO, SUPERWCGPRO, SUPERULTRAEXTRAIMBAWCGPRO, NANA, NATA DE COCO, NAA, NAN, DA, TORTOISE, RETARD, IDIOT, STUPID, BRAINLESS, PRO TINKER *too many to list
Age: 19
GOOD POINTS:
- WCGpro support/carry/anything you want. Best hero: -random.
- Immaculate and beyond god-like piano skills.
- Eats every thing that you throw at him except for certain vegetables.
- Goes anywhere with you but CAUTION: not small enough to fit into your bag
- Sweet and thoughtful <--- what more you want?!
- *NEWLY ADDED: Toni & Guy HAIR MODEL OMG!?!?!? *cool shizz
BAD POINTS:
- Constantly forgetting to bring his brain out
- Most vulnerable weakness: ( check his pokemon card at facebook to know what is it )
- Unable to Guai lan successfully because he is a sweetassangel
- Unable to feed in dota due to being overly pro ( not useful in playing SPOOF )
- Hair grows too fast.
www.facebook.com/fansite/PROWCGxwgakaTORTOISE.htm
for idiots: ( dont click it its fake la duh )
LIFE WITHOUT A BRAIN by ATSQ:
MADE MY DAY:
Bye! SEND ME MORE GIFTS IN CAFE WORLD!
